I am a hurt man. I am hurt because I have friends and family who have been had, hoodwinked, hornswaggled, and bamboozled by something that seems innocuous, but it’s very existence is the harbinger of doom!! I hold it responsible for Noriega, Medelin, and crack! What is this thing that I am talking about, you ask? I am talking about the AVOCADO… ugh, I feel dirty even typing the word!!

Look, many of you may remember the cocaine boom of the 80s. What you may not remember is the presence of the avocado, cocaine’s right hand man! Yeah, I said it! Look… cocaine begins it’s trek into the US in Miami. The lowly avocado begins it’s trek in California. As they travel towards each other, like two morally bankrupt lost lovers, across the US, leaving trails of death and destruction in their wake, they meet in Chicago, a city with a long and storied history with crime. It can handle the marriage, barely, but then cocaine continues until it reaches its final destination, Hollywood, California and the noses of its elite. Meanwhile, the avocado continues on, fooling people into thinking that guacamole is actually good and that the avocado actually belongs on a sandwich!?

I know that I, alone, will not be able to open people’s eyes to the evil that is in their grocery stores and sandwich shops. I know that any Mexican restaurant worth it’s salt has to have it on the menu, but I don’t have to eat it, and I won’t. But maybe I can reach out to the little ones and stop them from making the same mistake that their parents have made. Is there hope for our future? Can one man make a difference? Can you?