Last week I wrote about how it’s a great time for geeks because of all the crossover and expansion of fandoms throughout tv, movies, books, comics, games… everywhere. But there is a down side too. Hard to believe, I know, but it comes down to the merchandise. Sure, you can buy all kinds of things with your favorite characters emblazoned on, but there are times when merch goes a bit too far.

How can that be? you might ask. I want my fandom on everything! Let me use the most blunt, extreme example I can: sex toys. Oh yes, these exist. An artist on tumblr recently posted his concept designs for Avengers vibrators. And a few years ago a rather well-known adult toy company came out with a line of “superhero” toys that were obvious takes on some recognizable properties.

But as I said, that’s the most extreme WTH example. There is plenty of other merch that makes no sense. Like cologne – are you supposed to smell like your favorite superhero or spy or musician? Mostly I imagine that smells like sweaty latex and sex (in pretty much all of those instances). Have you noticed it’s usually men’s cologne they try this with? Sure, women get the perfume created by actresses and singers, but they seldom try to evoke a fandom.

Then there’s food. It’s one thing to use characters to sell candy and snacks to kids, or to throw their toys in fast food meals, but meals with a superhero theme? Come on, did Denny’s really increase sales with the Fantastic Four meals – the movie sucked, so what would that say about the food?! Or how about that Darth Vader burger with a black bun… a black bun! Completely unnecessary.

There’s more – a lot more – I could mention. But it comes down to making money. If a company thinks they can sell enough of a product to make a profit, they’ll do it no matter how crazy it is. So maybe don’t buy that “out there” fandom merch just because it’s odd. If it doesn’t sell, they’ll stop making it.