I stand before you a changed man, a different man. Not too long ago I was amazed to be able to walk and chew gum at the same time. Truthfully, the people who saw me as confident and funny only got to see the mask. I was a card carrying member of the “fake it until you make it” crowd. I had little belief in my ability to do anything, in my professional or my personal life. I thought that I had everyone fooled or that, outside of a few people, no one cared. 

Then, one day, I had a sit down with my team lead at my job. I knew that I was a bottom level performer and I was only hurting my team’s progress and I honestly wanted to try to improve. So, I have a heart to heart with Randy, my team lead. He is the kind of guy who is straightforward and believes in accountability. He also will go the extra mile for you, if you put in the work. So I am straight with him and tell him about where my head is as far as my job is concerned and how it relates to my life… and that is where this journey begins.

See, positivity is a funny thing. It is a thing that builds momentum. It is a thing that, if allowed to, can build upon itself and become a guiding force in your life. I THOUGHT I knew this, until I started spending time conversing with Randy. He saw inside me to the real person who wanted to come out, but I wasn’t in the right place. He saw that I needed to change my attitude about me, that I was more than capable. Through those conversations we became friends. I got to know a leader in a way that I was not interested in before. I started to care about my job and myself. I started to become engaged in my life. Through his no BS approach and genuine concern for me, the Kylan that I like started to surface. I became a better husband, friend and coworker.

As that continued, I began my weight loss journey, became more confident and started being legitimate in my positivity. And, as it happens in life, Randy had a great opportunity come his way and it was time for him to move on. At first I was nervous because I had tied all of my progress to him. But he constantly reiterated that I was the one who did the work, he was just the guide. I eventually saw that, and I still hold myself accountable to continue my progress. So as much as I hate that he’s gone, I am happy that his hard work is paying off for him. Randy will continue to encourage me and I hope to be able to pay the gift forward. I think that everyone should have a Randy in their life.