I’m talking about fanny packs. I saw a pick of Dewayne “The Rock” Johnson from the 90s wearing one of those things and even HE couldn’t make it look cool. It just screams… I dunno, poor accessorizer? Maybe? I had a job where they were issued to us to keep a first aid kit in, and I always wore mine like a sling. I wore it around my waist once and felt dorkier than Screech… it was not pretty. 

I know that Cable has a sling pouch that is jokingly called a fanny pack, but that’s Cable, and it wasn’t around his waist, either. Yes, I realize there’s a pic going around of Steve Trevor with one – but that movie is set in the 80s! All I am saying is I am getting the sneaking suspicion that that thing may try to make a comeback and the hipsters will get all over it. DON’T FALL FOR IT!! Leave the fanny pack on the ground and keep your self-respect intact and just step away… for all of us!