This week I dive into the myths, legends and the real history of unicorns. I stayed out of the kool aid and vinegar shots this week, but I did lick a handful of Alicorn powder that will be discussed in part 2 of unicorns next week.

Who would have thought unicorns are not fully from folklore. Unicorns are often depicted as a white horse, think Legend (before Tom Cruise went loopy). See, he should have licked the Alicorn powder and not drunk the kool aid. A few hundred years ago, unicorns were described as an extremely wild woodland creature, which makes sense because the Greeks believed they lived in a far off land called India. Unicorns were a symbol of grace and purity, which only could be captured by a virgin. Well no wonder they are no longer seen. Narwhal tusks were sometimes sold as a unicorn horn; nowadays they make beer out of Narwhals.

One of the oldest descriptions is from Ctesias, not sure how to pronounce his name, who in his book On India described the unicorns as wild asses. Could he have been talking about cows? They are everywhere in India – and they can be like cats and be assholes. Unicorns were colored white, red and black.

Aristotle must have been following Ctesias when he mentions two one-horned animals, the oryx and the so-called “Indian ass”, not a cow or cat this time. It is said that in India the oryx was a one-horned horse with a stag-like head. Pliny the Elder also mentions the oryx and an Indian ox, maybe a rhinoceros, as a one-horned beast. As well as a very fierce animal that was called the monoceros, which has the head of the stag and feet like an elephant, and the tail of the boar, while the rest of the body is like that of the horse. It makes a deep low noise, and has a single black horn, which projects from the middle of its forehead.

Next week will be part 2 of unicorns – not the fluffy, pooping glitter type. I will explain Alicorn powder and its consumption to this day.

P.S., if you like my new direction on my blog, please let me know in the comments below.